Over a twenty four hour period this weekend, I came in contact with two very different men.
The first person I met is living a life most people would dream of. Money, fame, family, and a sense of purposeful giving that made all his hard work worthwhile. He has faults and failures he freely admits. He explained how he was overcoming them and how he felt success was bound to happen.
The next morning, I saw the opposite in person number two. You know the type of person… trouble and problems follow them wherever they go. There’s always a reason or an excuse. It’s always someone else’s problem or fault. They cannot get out of their own way.
This is toxic for everyone.
First, this type of person feels they can get away with anything by shifting blame on others. Nothing is ever their fault.
Second, they continuously create their own problems and don’t work to fix it themselves… because someone else is to blame.
It’s a toxic cycle. Problem. Blame. No resolution. Problem…
Unfortunately, the only way to change their situation is by changing themselves. That’s impossible when they constantly look at others as the source of their pain.
They lash out, seek pity, and never do the hard work of getting themselves under control.
I wish I knew how to best handle a person like this. A long time ago, someone gave me the best advice I’ve come across yet, “get far away… fast.”
Someone like this is not open to negotiation, compromise, or help.
So that’s what I do. I steer clear and don’t allow them to negatively impact my day.
But, what if YOU are that person? That’s a hard thing to become aware of, but let’s say that you’ve got a sinking feeling that you may be the cause of your own problems.
That’s an incredible first step. Now what?
Learn. Grow your awareness. Seek counseling to better understand your actions, emotions, and habits.
Understand that no matter how justified you may feel, there is always another perspective.
When you happen across yet another problem, ask, “how can I prevent this from happening again?”